READ: 2 Samuel 13-14 / Proverbs
26
Verse
chosen for meditation: 2 Samuel 13:20-22
20 And her brother
Absalom said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? Now hold your
peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this to heart.” So Tamar
lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom's house. 21
When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. 22
But Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon,
because he had violated his sister Tamar.
REFLECT
The
next six chapters focusses on Absalom’s story, which began with this painful
read, the rape of his sister Tamar. Amnon, David’s eldest son, was lusting after
his beautiful half-sister, Tamar (sister of Absalom, David’s 3rd
son), and plotted to conquer her. In the plot, Amnon faked illness and
requested for David to send for Tamar to serve him. He made use of David’s love
for him as the eldest son and indeed, David indulged him.
When
Amnon made his shameless intentions known, Tamar resisted, highlighting how
morally wrong his actions were and the consequences it would have on him and
her. Amnon’s lust overpowered the deterrence of consequences and raped her. As
if that was not bad enough, he discarded her after that. Tamar was still open
to marriage even after what he did, but with his conquest of her done, he left
her desolate. His anger toward her in 2 Samuel 13:15-17 may have stemmed from
his shame over what he did, manifesting in blame towards her (perhaps for resisting
his advances or attracting him). This is sad, but not uncommon in wayward societies
where rape victims are blamed for inspiring the rapist’s lust.
David
was furious upon finding out, but did nothing, as a king or parent, to punish
Amnon or alleviate Tamar’s situation. He was unwilling to interfere with his
sons’ pleasures (happened with Absalom too and with Adonijah in 1 Kings 1:6). Thus
began Absalom’s seed of revenge for his sister. He harboured this hatred for
two years and plotted, pressing David with his requests (note the parallels
with Amnon’s plot) and succeeded in murdering Amnon.
RELATE
What’s
severe about both brothers’ sins was that it was organised crime. Both made
elaborate schemes and the deceit involved meant they knew it was morally wrong.
It was not a spur of the moment crime. God takes such crimes more seriously as
compared to sporadic moments of folly, as it shows a heart that is intentionally
indulging sin. This is concerning for us as we see the very emotions that drive
such a scheming heart are usually the kind that easily dominates us today
(hatred, lust over materials/people, envy, jealousy). It would be wise to first
ascertain how frequently we’re dominated by certain emotions. Once we identify
those we are most susceptible to, we should seek to keep them in check, not nurse
them.
Absalom
nursed his hatred for two years! That’s scary because he was capable of
sustained hatred when most people’s anger dissipates over time. Revenge has
such an effect, and it can also blind us. Absalom did this in his love for
Tamar and went all vigilante. However, he was blinded to see his way of love
was not what Tamar needed the most. Him advising Tamar to stay quiet (v20), yet
taking upon himself to get revenge did not alleviate her pain. Revenge is like
that. It hardly helps in the healing process but breeds a cycle of hatred and
destruction. TV dramas come to mind, with commonly used narratives of people
entering prisons for revenge, throwing their families into disarray, though they
were urged to stop pursuing vengeance. These dramas portray accurately some
realities and is a reminder of how harmful thoughts of revenge can be.
Then
there’s David’s parental failures. He indulged the pleasures of his sons too
easily. It’s strange that he was not more suspicious of Amnon with his weird request.
Perhaps he didn’t want Amnon to think he did not trust him, but here shows
indeed that parents would be wise not to trust sometimes, and children should
understand that for their own sakes. Then there was his inaction in dealing
with Amnon, which brought no comfort to Tamar and probably fuelled Absalom’s hatred,
such that even after Amnon’s death and David’s kiss of reconciliation in
Chapter 14, Absalom was still bent on rebellion. David was stuck and chose to
do nothing, so bitterness festered. We see this in many relationships today.
Whether as parents, friends, or coworkers, when we do not know what to do, we
end up doing nothing. We wish for time to naturally heal things, but often it
remains as wishful thinking. Instead, it usually leads to continued bitterness
and fractures in relationships.
Why
David might have found it hard to punish was perhaps that he saw his own sins
being played out in his sons. How much more difficult for parents to
discipline, when they themselves committed the same sins (especially when the
kids know), making them look hypocritical. This violence within David’s family
was prophesied in 2 Samuel 12:10 as a consequence of David’s sins. It must be
painful for David, seeing these consequences played out in his sons copying him.
Amnon took after David’s succumbing to lust, and Absalom’s scheme was akin to
David’s plot to murder Uriah. This is not only about role modelling, but how our
sins can affect future generations, in ways we never thought of.
REST
Dear God, these stories bring much focus to the follies
of David’s sons, but it also reminds of your wisdom in the bigger picture that
led to your choosing of Solomon instead of other sons. Help us to trust in this
wisdom and your sovereignty, that you’ll cover us, so we need not pursue things
that leads us to destruction. Amen.
Chris Chong
Comments
Post a Comment