READ
2 SAMUEL 21
TEXT FOR MEDITATION
They said to the king, “The man who consumed us and planned to destroy us, so that we should have no place in all the territory of Israel, 6 let seven of his sons be given to us, so that we may hang them before the Lord at Gibeah of Saul, the chosen of the Lord.” And the king said, “I will give them.” 2 Samuel 21: 5-6.
Then Rizpah the daughter of Aiah took sackcloth and spread it for herself on the rock, from the beginning of harvest until rain fell upon them from the heavens. And she did not allow the birds of the air to come upon them by day, or the beasts of the field by night. verse 10.
There was war again between the Philistines and Israel, and David went down together with his servants, and they fought against the Philistines. And David grew weary. verse 15
Then David's men swore to him, “You shall no longer go out with us to battle, lest you quench the lamp of Israel.” verse 15
REFLECT
King David was facing one of the harshest dilemmas of his life. There was famine in the land. And as he sought the Lord for the reason for the famine, he discovered that it was because Saul had broken a covenant which had been made with the Gibeonites. The people of Israel had sworn to the Gibeonites that they would not harm them because they had welcomed the Israelites as the Israelites passed through their land. But Saul, in his zeal for his own people, slaughtered them. David, attempting to make peace with the Gibeonites, asked them what would appease them. The Gibeonites then asked that seven sons of Saul be handed over to them to be hanged. This would have been an excruciating decision for David to make. On the one side, was the need to protect his people from the famine which would continue until the Gibeonites were appeased. On the other, was the painful decision to execute seven innocent men whose only guilt was by association with the offender King Saul. It was an impossibly painful conundrum for King David. As I read this story, I asked the question, the huge elephant in the room: "Why did God not help David solve this problem?" David was still close to God. He had sought God for each problem. Yet in this most difficult of decisions, he had to make a decision on his own. And there was no good solution. Either he allowed the famine to continue and his people left to starve, or he select seven otherwise innocent sons of Saul and hand them over to the aggrieved Gibeonites to be executed. And God did not intervene to make the decision easier. God simply left it to David to make the decision. That David had to make this decision clearly affected him. When he heard that the mother of one of the executed men stayed by his remains to protect it from the elements and refused to leave, King David took steps at great cost, to honour the seven by retrieving the bones of Saul and Jonathan from those who had stolen them, and burying the seven together with Saul and Jonathan.
Right after this incident, the Bible records that there was fighting with the Philistines again. And this time David grew weary. But this weariness was not simply about David getting tired in the midst of a fight. It was a weariness that was debilitating him from a cause far deeper than mere physical tiredness. It was so bad, his men permanently barred him from going to battle anymore. This incident being narrated right after the sacrifice of Saul's sons, hints strongly that David's weariness at least in large part, stemmed from his having had to make such a decision.
Such are the horrors of sin. It is a dreadful reminder that sin's consequences go way beyond the offender and affects others, many of whom may be innocent. We cannot lay blame on the Gibeonites. They too had lost many loved ones because of Saul's sin. They too were the aggrieved ones. Nor can we say that God was wrong in not changing the Gibeonites' minds, whether through persuasion or by force, to cause them to not demand such reparation, but to instead accept an easier compensation. God had through the Israelites promised safety to the Gibeonites, and Saul had reneged on that promise. God too had to accept the penalty for such a breach. And David, being a man after God's heart, knew that as God's representative on earth, he had to make this decision. There was no easy way out for him.
RELATE
The reality of living in a sinful world is that few things work out as God intended. And we are left to make decisions that are not satisfying either way. I have often wished that God would make a way out for me when I had to make painful decisions that involved contravening God's laws. And such decisions, whichever way they went, gave me no joy. They have in a sense, shaken core convictions which I once held strongly. One of the first of such conundrums was when I was asked to bless a marriage between two divorced persons. I was reluctant to do so and struggled for weeks to find a resolution. And I sought the Lord for an answer and heard nothing clearly at all. The circumstances were such: (I shall call them Jane and John which are not their real names). Jane's husband had deserted her and left her with a severely handicapped daughter. There was no way she could survive if she stopped work to take care of her child, but there was also no one she could turn to for help. John was a habitual drug abuser but this time, while in prison, was miraculously transformed. After his release from prison, he heard about Jane's plight. Jane and John lived in the same block of flats. John and his ex-wife had divorced peaceably, and his ex-wife had recently remarried. John, feeling deep compassion for Jane, helped to care for her daughter. His motives were pure as far as I could tell. Several years later, they decided to marry. Jane's church was firm in their decision that her marriage contravened scriptural commands and threatened to excommunicate her if she were to remarry. So John, whom I knew well, approached me. It was a huge dilemma for me. I knew clearly that remarriage after divorce was disallowed in the Bible. But I saw their plight as well. I saw how each had been a blessing to the other. I saw how John had been resolute in following Christ for several years, encouraged by Jane, and how Jane had found a man who loved her daughter even though she was very physically and mentally handicapped. Today, twenty years later, John and Jane continue in a faithful marriage. John continues to care for the 'girl', now in her twenties, who can neither speak nor feed herself, nor stand up, nor do most of the things that normal people do. And I see the wonderful fruit of their remarriage.
It is not an easy nor happy decision to make when the decision contravenes scriptural commands. But I remember that God values mercy and empathy above all. In Matthew 7:12, Jesus tells us, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets".
Today, the church is faced with another moral dilemma - that of embracing LGBTQ persons and same-sex marriages. There are passages in the Bible that clearly prohibit sexual relations between persons of the same sex. In fact, 'prohibit' is an understatement; 'condemn' is more accurate. And it is hard to even consider contravening such commands and not feel that we have greatly offended God. But I face the pastoral conundrum as well. How do we support a Christian who is gay, and who does not have the ability to remain celibate? We hear and read of 'success' stories, of gays being transformed. But these stories are merely anecdotal. Far more continue to 'fall into condemnation'. And what about those who are not yet Christians? Do they even stand a chance of knowing God's love when they are condemned at the church's door? And I feel deep pain for Christian parents, as each parent watches with great trepidation to see if their child turns out gay. I have journeyed with anguished parents who's world seems to have collapsed upon discovering that their child is gay. And I feel their horror that their child may be condemned for eternity if they did not stay celibate. I often ask in the midst of this raging battle in the church over the LGBTQ issue: Why doesn't God speak more clearly over this issue. One side of God-loving Christians say that God could not have spoken more clearly than with the biblical prohibitions. But the other group of equally God-loving Christians say that Jesus would have embraced the gays as well. It is patently unclear how God sees this.
The first Asian Bishop of the Methodist Church in Singapore, the late Rev Dr Yap Kim Hao was a strong advocate for creating a safe place for the LGBTQ community. He helped found the first and only gay affirming church in Singapore, Free Community Church. It is a church that is not endorsed or supported by virtually any church or person of the Christian community in Singapore. I recall writing a paper strongly criticising Rev Dr Yap for his advocacy for the LGBTQ community and accusing him of leading gay Christians straight to hell. I have since reconsidered my earlier stand. One day, towards the end of his life, I had an honest conversation with him. I asked him what motivated him to help start FCC. Was he gay, or were any of his children gay? What were his motivations? He related to me how many Christians who had same-sex attraction (SSA), had earnestly sought God for help. They had had counselling, conversion therapy, practised spiritual disciplines, and pleaded with God to either change their sexual orientation, or to give them the ability to be celibate. And to no avail. God was silent. And they lived with such a great sense of condemnation. So Rev Yap sought to create a safe place for them to experience God's love.
I take no pride nor joy in going against biblical commands. Actually it terrifies me. But I am also cognizant that in this utterly sinful world, nothing is as they should be. I served for several years with HIV sufferers in prison. Most of them were gay. There I saw compassion and generosity far exceeding what often exists in churches. Those who could afford HIV suppressing medicines shared sacrificially with those who couldn't afford them. This was in stark contrast to the dismal response I received from churches when I appealed for funds to buy medicines for them. And I asked Jesus, "whose company would you rather be in? In the church, or in this HIV community?" I find it hard to give an answer.
I have come to accept that as long as we live in this sin-filled world, we will continue to face dilemmas that do not have happy solutions either way. And I begin to view those who hold opposing views, not as enemies, but as fellow sojourners who have to make painful decisions as best they can, out of their love and fear of the Lord. Like David, they make decisions that hurt them either way, but continue to courageously do so nonetheless.
REST
Father, it's a tough world we live in. We want to live right, to obey you, to uphold that which you have taught us. But we in our sinfulness have created situations that are impossible to 'do the right thing'. And Lord, we are often tired. These decisions sap us of our energy. The disagreements within your body over these issues drain us even more. Help us to find rest in you. Help us to know that this will end when we finally return to you, or when your Son comes again in glory. In the meantime, give us the courage of our convictions to stand for what we believe, and the humility to accept that we may be wrong. We ask in the name of our Lord Jesus, the merciful one, Amen.
CML
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